Separation Anxiety (Yamcha Withdrawl)
by Bullshitting Penguins
Summary: What happens when the dbz gals finally come to their senses and take a vacation, leaving the 'worthless' men to babysit the kids that they PAY to act their worst? MAD, CRAZY HUMOR FROM COSMO AND PEEWEE! *completed*


1 Separation Anxiety  
  
This has been a serious attempt at a serious story that is serious. Seriously. And yes, that was a serious attempt to start the story. Seriously.  
  
This story is about what would happen to Goku and Vegeta if Bulma and Chichi were to leave. You'll have to find out for yourselves why they go. In this timeline, Bra is two, Trunks is thirteen, Marron is eight, Goten is twelve, and Gohan is seventeen. This story will be partly serious, seriously, and partially humor (like we could write anything else.) Okie dokie peoples, on with the story!  
  
1.1 Chapter 1  
  
Yet another scrumptious barbecue was in process at Master Roshi's house. Chichi, 18, and Bulma were furiously slaving away over the hot burners and wieners, while Goku, Vegeta, and Krillin were pretending to spar outside while really soaking up some rays. Master Roshi, Yamcha, and Oolong hid strategically in the kitchen doorway watching the beautiful vixens sweating over the meal. Suddenly three enormous frying pans came out of nowhere, rendering them all unconscious. Bulma happened to glance out the window and saw the lazy fools they deemed husbands. Shaking her head in aggravation, she failed to see that the scalding hot water she was tending began to boil over on her hand. Screaming she pointed out the window.  
  
"Look at those jerk-offs! I happened to glance out the window and see those lazy men doing absolutely nothing! Not to mention I burned my hand!" Chichi looked up sympathetically.  
  
"Goku is always having me work while does nothing. Mr. I-saved-the-world, so that gives me a free pass to sit on my ass all day, hasn't done chores since the day we got married! Honestly, I've given up hope in more ways than one." She said.  
  
"Oh, you mean Goku snubs you when you feel up to it too? Vegeta, Prince of the Raisins, or whatever the hell they're called only likes to go at it when he wants to. My needs mean nothing to him. Not to mention he can't lift a royal finger to do something useful, Kami forbid he be helpful." Bulma said angrily. Android 18 looked up slightly confused.  
  
"Aren't Vegeta and Goku always horny? I mean, that's all Krillin does! If he's not ogling over my ass, then he's trying to nuzzle up against me like some homeless dog." Bulma and Chichi both shook their heads at the amazing annoyance of the male Homo erectus. Bulma shook her ladle angrily.  
  
"Damn it! I'm going to make them get their asses in here and help. Otherwise we won't have enough food for everyone." She lifted the window and called out. "VEGETA! GOKU! KRILLIN! We need some help in here! Get in here now!" The three watched from the window as Vegeta called out from his position in the lawn chair.  
  
"Good shot Kakarass, unfortunately now I'm going to make you eat sand!" He shouted loud enough for the girls to hear. Goku glanced up from one of Master Roshi's glossy x-rated magazines. Giving a sly wink towards Vegeta he replied also in the loud voice.  
  
"Awww, Come on Veggie-head! You couldn't get in a hit on me unless you surprised me on the crapper, and even then I doubt you could do any damage!" Feeling his anger rise, Vegeta threw his sunglasses off and down into the sand. In an angry voice, he replied.  
  
"Is that really what you think? That proves you're dumber than you look." Regaining his composure he settled back into the lawn chair. Krillin looked up from the game of poker he was loosing against Turtle. Catching on to the ploy, he added his convincing line.  
  
"Man Goku, watch where you're throwing those blasts!" Goku and Krillin grinned idiotically and Vegeta smirked. Bulma rolled her eyes and called out again.  
  
"Let me guess guys? You are tooo busy sparring to help us right?" Bulma practically screamed. Vegeta glanced in Kakarot's direction and prepared to scream back.  
  
"HOLY SHIT! Kakarot you blasted my arms! Damn that hurts like crap! I won't stop training though! I mean, what if some horrible evil came to Earth to kill us all off right now?" Bulma rolled her eyes and noticed Chichi was gone. Suddenly Chichi came into view carrying a bowl of ice cold water. After a big splash and a big scream Chichi looked at them all with a red aura flashing around her petite frame.  
  
"That horrible evil just came you lazy imbeciles! We asked you for help!" With practiced ease tears welled up in her eyes. "Come on Goku, all I asked was for you to give me a little help. I'm sorry to disturb your reading." Just then Chichi noticed what he was reading. Chichi's tears became real ones as she hurried back into the house flushed with embarrassment and hurt. In the kitchen 18 was furiously glaring at the men, while Bulma threw her ladle down in complete rage.  
  
"Those lazy jackasses!" They simultaneously exclaimed in unison. Chichi ran to the bathroom to try and get rid of the menacing tears. Gohan watched the scene from his position on the roof. Trunks and Goten were talking on the beach about a cute girl they'd seen, but had stopped to watch the action. Marron and Bra were playing with dolls nearby. Gohan shook his head and flew down. His mom would need someone to tell her it was okay; it's not like his dad ever did anything when she cried. He didn't know what to do so he didn't do anything. As he was about to go in he saw Bulma go in the bathroom and decided she would be okay. Instead he shot an angry look at his father who didn't see because he was back to 'reading.' Rolling his eyes, he went to go see what Trunks and Goten were up to.  
  
Abruptly, a huge ki power exploded into the atmosphere. Goku immediately hooked onto it and frowned when he sensed it was not a good force. Vegeta and Krillin, now joined by Master Roshi and Yamcha, squinted in the direction it was coming from.  
  
"We should go check that out guys." Goku said slowly, like he did everything else. Vegeta nodded and took to the air.  
  
"Shouldn't you tell the girls?" Turtle said confused that they would just leave. Vegeta rolled his eyes and landed.  
  
"I'm sure they would be capable of figuring it out on their own. They aren't dumb like Kakarot." Goku didn't notice the comment, as he was to busy trying to pinpoint the location of the power surge. Krillin shrugged and headed toward the house. Three feet from the door he called out.  
  
"HONEY! GOING TO SAVE THE WORLD! I'LL TRY TO MAKE IT HOME BEFORE SUPPER! BYE DEAR!" With that he took off after Vegeta who was already flying away. Breaking his concentration, Goku looked toward the house. He slowly walked towards the house uncertain of the outcome.  
  
"Um.Babe? I'm going to defend the planet.don't wait up!" With that he began to take after the others. Chichi and the two girls ran out of the bathroom. Running outside they screamed after the warriors.  
  
"IF YOU LEAVE, WE LEAVE!" The three women watched hurt as the warriors paused but continued to fly on.  
  
"How dare they leave!" Bulma said as anger flushed her cheeks. Chichi went back to crying silently but slowly her tears turned to anger. 18 understood why they had to leave, but was still angry that they had flown off even after they had threatened them. Shrugging absentmindedly, she headed for the house.  
  
"Okay, so who's car do we take?" Bulma looked at her confused.  
  
"You mean, you think we should actually leave?" She asked puzzled.  
  
"Not for forever, just long enough to see what life is like without us here." She replied flippantly. Bulma seemed to think it over for a few seconds before speaking up.  
  
"I have my credit card that pretty much has no limit. I say we go on a vacation, without the kids." Chichi looked shocked.  
  
"But Goku would kill them off!" Bulma and 18 smiled and headed for the house.  
  
"You coming Cheech?" Bulma asked. Chichi looked torn, but followed hesitantly.  
  
Inside Bulma sexily walked toward Master Roshi, who was getting quite turned on. Suggestively leaning her chest over, she toyed with the top of her tube top.  
  
"Master Roshi? Would you be a sweetheart and watch the girls while we make a run to the store?" Master Roshi drooled in response. "I'll take that as a yes." No longer were the words out of her mouth that she snapped back up and let her tube top return to a respectable position. Rolling her eyes as Master Roshi came out of his daydream, she headed upstairs where 18 was packing. When she was done, 18 flew out the window with the suitcases so that they wouldn't be spotted. Chichi and Bulma went downstairs through the doors and Bulma kissed Bra on the cheek. Bra twirled her pigtail around her little finger and looked questioningly at her mother.  
  
"Mommy? Where are you going?" She asked cutely. Bulma smiled. Meanwhile Chichi explained the idea to Gohan, Goten, and Trunks.  
  
"I'm going to teach your daddy a lesson." Bulma replied to Bra's question. "When he comes back and asks where we are, you tell him that when the men are ready to admit they need us, they can come find us and apologize. Until then we are officially separated. Oh, and when the boys get back, tell them I'll pay them when I get back if you and they are on your worst behavior. Can you do that sweetie?" Bra nodded innocently with wide eyes.  
  
"Okay mommy! I love you, Goodbye bye!" She waved her chubby hand sweetly and smiled. Bulma cooed and then joined Chichi and 18 in the hover car. 18 waved at Marron from the car and blew her a kiss. Then they took off heading for Chichi's house.  
  
1.2 Chapter 2  
  
The guys flew home ragged and tired. The thing that landed had been an alien that had thought the planet was up for grabs. After the Z warriors teamed up against him, he was easily defeated. Smiling at the good battle he'd just fought, he thought of how great it would feel when Bulma insisted on bandaging him up. Smirking at what might happen after that, he landed at the blackened Kami House along with the other haggard Z fighters. Opening the door quietly, he half expected to be smothered by Bulma, but instead was only greeted by the dark living room. Grunting his disapproval he went to check the time. Krillin headed to the fridge for a snack followed by Goku. Soon all three men were watching wrestling on TV, not caring if the noise woke anyone up. Yamcha had already headed back to his apartment.  
  
Smirking wickedly Trunks positioned himself on the upstairs couch while Goten popped a porn video into the VCR. Bra and Marron continued mutilating their dolls. With Gohan's help, they attached several to the ceiling fan as though they had been hanged. Marron then proceeded to take several heads to the toilet. There she clogged it until it wouldn't flush. Satisfied, she returned to the living room to watch the video with Trunks, Goten, and Bra. Gohan flew to the nearest mall, where he bought punk clothes, stink bombs, and alcohol. He then called Videl and told her about the situation. She immediately agreed to help out. Thirty minutes later all hell broke loose at Kame House.  
  
"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN SHE LEFT?!" Vegeta roared as Krillin ripped the video from the VCR. Gohan was sitting in the armchair, his jeans the baggiest any of them had ever seen.  
  
"Bra means that she fuckin left. Is it that hard to process? Hell, I'm completely drunk and I got the idea." Actually, Gohan hadn't drank any of the alcohol, but had instead poured it out and was now waving the empty bottle around. Goku looked at him angrily. He was about to punish Gohan when he realized he'd always made Chichi do it. Not sure what to say, he continued to glare at Gohan. Krillin was looking shocked at his small daughter.  
  
"Honey, why would you cut up your dolls and watch this horrible video?" Marron looked sweetly at him.  
  
"Hold me daddy? Pwease?" Krillin obliged and picked the small child up. The minute she was near his shoulder she bit his ear.  
  
"HOLY CRAP! MARRON!" Meanwhile Bra had snatched up the tape and put it back in. Vegeta went to grab the tape but was tripped by Trunks. Master Roshi, Turtle, and Oolong began to bang once again on the closet door. Confusedly Goku opened the door to find the bound and gagged after being locked in the closet. After quickly untying them, he asked what happened.  
  
"Well, I think the girls took off, saying they weren't coming back. They were serious Goku. I'm sorry for you guys. But, uh, can you leave with these horrible kids? We've been locked in this closet since you left." Goku nodded unhappily and told Vegeta and Krillin what had happened. They went outside to take one of the hover cars, and demanded everyone to squeeze into the one car.  
  
"Get in the car Gohan!" Goku demanded angrily at his son. Gohan just turned his head towards his father.  
  
"Uh. no. I told Videl to come over; she should be here any time now. I convinced her to screw me senseless tonight!" Just then, Goku's eyes widened as Videl landed in front of Gohan latching on to him. She wore a white see through top which didn't seem to cover her breasts even halfway and black leather shorts that looked as if they were painted on. In the back pocket was a whip.  
  
"Young lady! You are going right home and changing!" Goku screamed at the girl.  
  
"Well jeez, old timer. my transparent lingerie was in the dirty hamper! Now if you don't mind, Gohan and I have some . bonding to do." With that Videl and Gohan flew off. Vegeta smirked and Krillin's jaw dropped. Goku was shocked into silence and crossed his arms moodily as he got into the car.  
  
"Get in the car Goten!" Screaming and kicking the entire way to Goku's house, the children ended up doing more damage to the three warriors then the alien had. Several times Bra flung herself out the window and Vegeta had to go after her. Marron continuously stepped on Krillin's crotch causing him to step on the gas/brake spastically. Goten and Trunks kept screaming annoying songs and randomly cranking the radio as loud as it would go. By the time they landed, Vegeta and Krillin refused to get in the car with the remaining children. Goku looked warily at the children who were creating a forest fire by throwing ki blasts into the woods at animals. "It's probably best we stay together until the girls hopefully come back." Krillin nodded.  
  
"I can't cook or clean," he admitted. " I think I'll starve without 18."  
  
"You imbecile! We don't know how to cook either! What do you think we're going to do? Starve? No! We'll order take out," Vegeta instructed. "Now fetch the phone Trunks!" Trunks scampered off to get the phone but came back with the toaster.  
  
"You mean this?"  
  
"No! Go back in there and get the phone idiot boy child!" Vegeta shouted. Trunks went in the house and came back out with a loaf of bread. "No! Go back in there and do it right!" He came back out with strawberry jam. "Stupid child! If I wanted toast fixings I would have asked for them! I want the phone!" The three men went inside the house to find it themselves. They stared at the strange device wondering how to operate it.  
  
"How does it work?" Goku asked stupidly. Krillin shook his head.  
  
"18 always uses this thing. Say. let's get one of the kids to show us how to use it." Vegeta agreed to this but suddenly realized they made a BIG mistake by leaving the children unattended outside. The three rush outside to find the children in nothing but loin clothes and war paint dancing around a bon fire. Marron was slowly being roasted over the open flame gagged and bound. "Ah! What are you doing?!" Krillin shouted.  
  
"Alright, time for a bath!" Goku decided, seeing as how the children were messy. They wrestled the children into the bathroom and locked the door. Goku shouted through the door, "Don't forget to wash behind your ears!" And the three men walked off. Four hours later, after a meal of Chinese take- out, the men were curious as to why the children hadn't come out of the bathroom yet.  
  
"I wonder why the brats are so quiet." Vegeta mused.  
  
"The girls probably put them to bed already," Krillin suggested absentmindedly. They all paused for a second before shouting in unison, "KIDS!!!" They race up stairs to find the kid's clothes, but no children. the window busted, and the children were gone.  
  
"We should go find them," Goku said. Krillin nodded in agreement.  
  
"No! I'm not going out to find those stupid brats! They left on their own and they can find their way back on their own." With that decided he went downstairs heading for the couch. Krillin and Goku left through the broken window in search of the missing children.  
  
Meanwhile, in Florida, Bulma was getting a Swedish massage from a tall, dark, and handsome stud.  
  
"A little lower Rodrico. ooo that's the spot." Chichi was relaxing in the pool sipping on her margarita. 18 was sporting a revealing bikini letting another stud rub sun tan lotion on her. Bulma looked up in surprise when the stud's hands slipped a little too low. She thought momentarily of Vegeta and a wicked smile crept over her features. "You truly have gifted hands babe." The massager smiled coyly and continued lower into her swimsuit. After the massage, the pool time, and the tanning, the three girls were ready to hit the nearest mall.  
  
Feeling curious as to what mischief his woman was getting into, he searched for her thoughts. His eyes popped open in alarm when he distinctly heard,  
  
'Oh Rodrico, harder.' Becoming furious he was prepared to go retrieve her right then and there, but then he remembered her saying when he needed her, to come get her. His pride would not allow him to give into her vixen like tricks that easy. Laughing to himself he thought,  
  
'It's not like she could hook a guy named Rodrico anyway.' Then he remembered she was rich and beautiful. 'Oh shit!' He said as he prepared to go find her. He was almost out the door when he realized that it was probably just a trick. But then he continued out the door realizing he had to go find his two-year-old daughter that his idiot son probably left somewhere.  
  
"She's probably cold and hungry, and here you are refusing to go find her. That's low Vegeta, even for you." Realizing he was talking to himself, he decided to go find Bra and forget about what Bulma might be doing with Rodrico. She may be mad at him, but she wouldn't cheat on him.hopefully.  
  
Goku and Krillin managed to find Goten in a casino. Some gambling tycoon had adopted him as the reason for his good luck that night, and was having him touch the dice before each roll. Goku busted in demanding that the man return his son to him. Goten looked at him quizzically.  
  
"Who are you?" Goten asked innocently.  
  
"Don't play games Goten, we're going home!" Goku said forcefully. Goten looked at the fat gambler who was counting his winnings.  
  
"Mr.? You won't let that bad man take me will you? I'm your lucky charm!" The gambler looked at the sweet faced little kid.  
  
"Course we won't let him take ya!" With a snap of his fingers two large men forcefully carried Goku out the door. Meanwhile, Goten snatched the man's winnings and flew out the front door calling out over his shoulder.  
  
"Didn't your mother ever tell you gambling is bad?" With that he headed for an unknown destination, Goku unaware that he was no longer in the casino.  
  
Krillin looked up and down the streets for Marron.  
  
'I know where she'll go! The toy store!' Krillin flew off in the direction of the toy store. It was now approaching six a.m., so the toy store would be just opening. Meanwhile, Marron bustled into the large toy store on the corner of the mall. She immediately began ripping dolls off the shelf and emptying bins of toys. Hurriedly the manager and the staff tried to rush after her, but the fast little warrior was always out of their reach. By the time Krillin arrived, Marron was gone and all that was left was an enormous bill.  
  
"So a little blonde headed girl did this to your shop? About this high," He illustrated with his hand. "Blue eyes? Pigtails?" The shop owner nodded in affirmation. "Nope, never saw her. Sorry!" Krillin said as he backed away from the ruined toy store. Several minutes later he was flying over the city hoping to spot his little daughter.  
  
Trunks carefully sat down Bra just outside the mall.  
  
"K, Bra, here's Mom's credit card. Buy everything you can, and cause chaos in the mall. If they ask questions tell them you're Vegeta and Bulma Brief's kid. Tell them that if they want they can take it up with your parents. If you see Dad coming point to him and yell really loud, "That's my daddy and he'll pay for everything." Then run. Have fun kid!" With that Trunks left his little sister in the place she knew to be her second home, the mall.  
  
Trunks went straight for the news station.  
  
Vegeta was scanning the skies when he ran into Krillin who was doing the same.  
  
"Have you seen Bra?"  
  
"Have you seen Marron?" They asked each other at the same time. After deciding to go check the city square, they ran into a haggard Goku who just immerged from the back ally behind the casino. Goku was about to explain what had happened, when Videl and Gohan came staggering out of the bar across the street completely wasted. At that exact moment, Trunks appeared on the outdoor big screen TV overlooking the city square. In a very official and calm voice he began to speak as though doing a commercial.  
  
"My name is Trunks Brief and I am the son of Vegeta Briefs. You might know our family as the owner's of Capsule Corporation. Recently my parents wanted to have another child, unfortunately my father VEGETA BREIFS had trouble performing. I really wanted a little sister, but because of my father's inability, our family thought we'd have to adopt. Luckily my father discovered a wonderful product called Viagra. It worked for him and it will work for you! Problems in bed are nothing to be shy about. Men with this similar problem should seek the help of this miraculous drug. My father used it, and so I got a little sister! His name again was, VEGETA BRIEFS and he uses Viagra before going to bed everyday! For the Vavoom he needs to keep my mom happy!"  
  
"Vegeta, I didn't know you.VEGETA'S A WEAKLING IN BED TOO!" Krillin said as he laughed deliriously. Goku soon joined in after Vegeta shot with blinding speed towards the news station.  
  
Meanwhile Bulma was screaming her lungs out as the roller coaster at Disney World made yet another spinning loop.  
  
"This is great! I haven't had so much fun in years!" Chichi screamed beside Bulma as the car plummeted once again. 18 was behind them with her hands in the air and her blonde hair whipping behind her.  
  
Goku pulled Videl off Gohan and personally escorted her home even though he was dreading talking to Mr. Satan. Instead he rang the doorbell and ran. When he returned, Krillin was holding Gohan with all his strength. Goku quickly knocked Gohan unconscious and slung him over his shoulder.  
  
"One down, four to go." He said as he and Krillin flew after Vegeta.  
  
Vegeta blasted down the news room door and had his hands around Trunks's throat before the boy knew what hit him. Furiously talking to the camera, he said,  
  
"I DO NOT have 'problems' performing! I'm probably the best there is on this pathetic planet!" Struggling for air Trunks replied,  
  
"Clearly the patient is in denial about his penial erection problem!" Vegeta and Trunks wrestled on the floor destroying cameras and sets all over the TV news building. Eventually, Vegeta managed to tie up Trunks with a cable.  
  
"YOU ARE COMING HOME THIS INSTANT AND YOU'RE MOTHER IS GOING TO BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU!" Trunks would have replied, but Vegeta had gagged him with the boy's sock. Roughly picking him up so that he couldn't break free, he left the news building only to run into Kakarot, Gohan, and Krillin.  
  
"Well, that's another one!" Krillin said optimistically. "Only three more to go! Goku said Goten headed out the front door of the casino with a whole lot of cash."  
  
"I bet he headed for some all you can eat buffet near by." Goku thought aloud.  
  
"Figures." Vegeta said brusquely.  
  
  
  
Chichi looked at the water ski's doubtfully.  
  
"Are you sure I can do this Bulma?" She asked.  
  
"Sure you can! It's fun!" She said as she hopped on to a jet ski. Near by 18 suited up to go wind surfing.  
  
Goten was stuffing his face at the 24 hour diner.  
  
"Man was I hungry!" He said as he ate the last dish of Jell-O in the restaurant. Sighing contently, he eased back in his chair. Just then the chair was pushed backwards and he found himself looking at the inside of a burlap sack.  
  
"GOTCHA!" Goku said triumphantly as he tied the top of the bag. "Only two more! Where do you think Marron went?"  
  
"I bet she went to the zoo or someplace like that. That's normally where she and her mother go when they go out somewhere. Marron likes the zoo best." Krillin said before they all took off toward the zoo.  
  
Marron carefully opened the door to the monkey cage. Sliding inside, she closed the door behind her.  
  
Krillin and the others landed tiredly in the zoo.  
  
"Now where?" Vegeta asked as he hit the squirming Trunks across the backside of his head. Trunks got still.  
  
"I don't know, let's split up."  
  
"Right!" They all said together in tired voices.  
  
1.3 Chapter 3  
  
First Krillin spotted Marron in the monkey cage. Hurriedly, he jumped into the cage only to be picked up by a huge gorilla and thrown into a heaping pile of monkey dung. All three warriors were already bloody and bruised from the previous fight with the alien, and all were wet with sweat. Now Krillin was completely covered in monkey shit. Furious he flew straight up and was just about to grab Marron when one of the strong monkeys threw the little girl over the high fence into the seal pen next door. Landing with a splash the little girl was brought to the surface on the back of a bouncing, rubbery seal. Goku handed the unconscious Gohan and the bagged Goten to Vegeta, and flew for the seal tank. He was just about to scoop her up when the seal dived suddenly. Goku crashed right into the water with a huge splash that propelled Marron to the side of the pool. Scampering through the back of the pen, she immerged in a white hallway lined with doors. Randomly picking one, she opened it and scurried through. She immerged on the other side in a lush green forest setting. Suddenly she froze when she heard the sound of at least twenty over grown snakes hissing and shaking their rattlers. Not pausing, she ran right back out the white door, accidentally leaving it open. When a drenched Goku and a smelly Krillin managed to make their way into the hall, they immediately ran into the room with the door ajar.  
  
After painfully being bitten and attacked by various amazon snakes, they managed to make their way back into the hall just as Goku started to break out in unusual colored spots. After vomiting profusely, most of it hitting Krillin, he broke out in hives.  
  
"I guess one of the snakes that bit you was poisonous." Krillin said as he looped an arm around Goku's waist and helped him to the end of the hallway. When they immerged, Vegeta greeted them pointing his arms toward the shark tank.  
  
"Hurry up you fools, I don't think she can balance much longer!" Marron was standing on the high positioned board that the zoo workers used to put the meat on before pushing it off into the tank. The unstable board looked like it couldn't hold Marron's weight for much longer and the sharks were circling hungrily below. Like a rocket, Krillin shot towards her, spraying monkey crap all over Vegeta as well. Vegeta had Gohan over his shoulder, Trunks under his other arm, Goten in a sack between his feet, and Goku was leaning heavily on him as the effects of the poison caused him to loose his balance. With the deepest scowl humanly possible, he spit the monkey shit out of his mouth.  
  
Krillin grabbed Marron just as the little girl fell off the board. He was about to fly her to safety, when suddenly at least seventeen pounds of frozen meat came crashing down on him from above. The zoo worker had just fed the sharks, and the meat had hit Krillin's bald head. Dropping Marron, Vegeta realized that it was his turn. Abandoning the three boys and the green Kakarot, he shot over the water just in time to grab Marron. Unfortunately, Krillin grabbed hold of him too as the frozen meat had almost knocked him into the water. Vegeta was pulled to an abrupt stop by Krillin's sudden added weight and Marron went flying from his arms, straight through the white door across from them, and directly through the one across it, leaving her in the lion cage. Vegeta carelessly tossed Krillin back towards where Goku was waiting with the boys. He hurriedly rushed after Marron just as she was attempting to pet the kitty. Snatching her up just as the lion was about to close its jaws on her arm, he flew her back to the others.  
  
Chichi gasped with amazement at her new hairstyle and outfit. She looked at least five years younger! The transformation was absolutely amazing. Her hair was loose and flowed down her back with two strands framing her face in hair wraps. Her dress was a light tropical pattern that was covered in explosive colorful flowers. Bulma's hair was out of the hideous fro and was now loose as well under a flowing sun hat. 18 was just as relaxed in her new tropical garb.  
  
Goku was drenching wet, covered in his own vomit, bloody, scraped, his clothes in tatters, large hives were spreading over his green tinted face, and he smelled amazing like fish. Krillin was doused in monkey droppings, Goku's vomit, bloody and bruised from the previous battle, and his bald head was turning crimson as a huge lump on his head began to form as a result of being hit on the head by seventeen pounds of frozen meat. Vegeta was the most beat up of them all because he had insisted on fighting the alien first. He was also speckled with monkey dung and wet from Kakarot leaning on him. They looked and smelled horrible, yet they still had one more child to locate.  
  
Out of frustration, Krillin grabbed Goku's belt and tied Marron up. Unfortunately this resulted in Goku loosing his pants and wearing nothing but smiley face boxers. Too sick to care he didn't notice Vegeta and the Zoo visitors when they laughed and smirked at him. Krillin took Marron under one arm, and Goku under the other. Vegeta carried the three boys, and Goku's pants were left behind.  
  
Vegeta un-gagged Trunks long enough to find that Bra was at the mall. They headed there, and soon found a mall set on fire. Fire fighters were everywhere and Bra was on the mall roof shouting at the top of her lungs.  
  
"MY DADDY WILL PAY FOR IT ALL! MY DADDY WILL PAY FOR IT, DON'T WORRY!!!" Suddenly, 'daddy' snatched her of the roof while the fire fighters were still struggling with their ladder.  
  
Eventually, they made it home around three. They all needed showers, badly, but they were dismayed to find that the children had clogged the bathtub with play dough. The shower facet was stuck down the toilet, and the toilet lid was super glued shut. About that time Gohan woke up and had his hangover all over the house, and Vegeta who was the only one that could stand up. Bra and Marron immediately began to run around the house with permanent markers scribbling on the walls and on the two fallen warriors. Trunks and Goten began setting off stink bombs and throwing them along with water balloons at Goku and Krillin who couldn't fight back. Once they tired of that, Goten and Trunks attacked Vegeta demanding food. When Vegeta refused because the phone had been burned in the earlier bonfire, the demi Saiyans screamed louder and louder until Vegeta said he would try to cook.  
  
Nabbing Trunks and Goten, he entered the kitchen staring around like he was about to face the worst enemy imaginable. Trunks immediately grabbed the eggs and began throwing them at Vegeta and Goten. Goten retaliated by grabbing the spray bottle of whip cream and dousing Vegeta by accident. Not wanting to miss Trunks, he picked up a bottle of squirt Carmel and squirted it on Vegeta. Trunks got the idea, and started to squirt down his father in ketchup. Vegeta was blindly trying to escape, resulting in him falling over the table, and landing at the boy's mercy. Minutes later he was tied to the table as the boys emptied the entire kitchen's contents onto him. When he was covered with chips, cheese, Spam, frozen egg roles, rice, chocolate syrup, flour, sugar, jelly, coffee beans, various types of candy, peanut butter in his hair, salsa dip poured down his spandex pants, his boots filled with leftover beans, and wet spaghetti noodles down his shirt, Trunks and Goten brought in the topper. Ants.  
  
Meanwhile the girls were sitting down to a fancy dinner in the most elegant restaurant Florida had. After course after course, they had scrumptious dessert, followed by dancing with handsome men that they met at the restaurant.  
  
Unfortunately for Vegeta, Goten grabbed fire ants instead of sugar ants. Laughing hysterically, the boys watched as Vegeta screamed and tried to break himself off the table. He succeeded only to slip on the nasty floor and hit the kitchen tile hard leaving an imprint. Trunks then brought in the video camera and taped Vegeta dancing around the kitchen trying to get the fire ants off of his sugary body.  
  
The girls soon returned downstairs with all of Chichi's makeup. Goku was soon covered in lipstick and they painted his teeth with pink nail polish. By that time the poison had left him unconscious. Krillin tried feebly to stop them, but out of nowhere, Goten hit his already throbbing head hard with Chichi's frying pan. Krillin then fell unconscious as well. Then Trunks, Goten, Marron, and Bra proceeded to dress Goku and Krillin in Chichi's clothes. After knocking Vegeta out with the frying pan, they did the same to him. Feeling hungry, they had Gohan order them 200 pizzas on his cell phone. An hour later the pizzas arrived and they soon littered the floor with greasy pizza boxes and left over slices. Deciding the pizza shouldn't go to waist they had a food fight. About the time it was done, they decided to strip down Vegeta, put him in Bra's tutu and nothing else, and then they strapped him to the bottom of the hover car. Next was Goku wearing nothing but a G-string, and finally Krillin in Chichi's lingerie. It was then that Gohan took all the kids for a scenic drive over the city. Of course the international news crews were visiting to cover the annual Tokyo Day Parade where millions of people lined the streets to celebrate with the big parade. The camera's all pointed skyward as Gohan flew the hover car over the parade route, flying low enough so that everyone could see the three warriors strapped to the bottom of the hover car.  
  
Bulma and Chichi were relaxing on the king-sized beds that occupied their suite. Flipping on the big screen TV, they flipped through the channels. Deciding to check out the coverage of the Tokyo Parade, they gasped in surprise when they saw their husbands putting on a parade of their own from the bottom of the hover car. Mind you they were still wet and covered in monkey shit. Grabbing their things they rushed to the nearest airport.  
  
1.4 Chapter 4  
  
All three men started coming into consciousness by the time the tour was over. Realizing they were strapped to the bottom of a car, they struggled to escape their restraints but to no avail. Gohan shut off the car and the children took their fathers up to the roof of the house. They bound and gagged them, then left them stranded up on the roof. A taxicab drove up to the front of the house with 18, Bulma, and Chichi in it. They failed to notice their husbands up on the roof, but if they had they would've kept them up there anyway. Looking for the children inside the disastrous house, they found them watching cartoons.  
  
"Wow, you guys really did a good job!" Bulma complimented. She left to get her robots to repair the dilapidated house.  
  
Once repaired, the children were showered and put to bed, seeing as how they hadn't slept in the past two days. They went to get something to eat and stumbled over a tape labeled 'Vegeta and his new Friends.' Curious to see what it was, the girls popped the video into the VCR and watched him struggle to get the ants out of his pants. Completely refreshed they decided to check on the boys, the kids told them they put them on the roof.  
  
"So, did you guys miss us?" 18 asked.  
  
"Yeah, we decided to come back early after seeing your balls flashed across national television." Bulma explained. Vegeta growled in response. 18 flew up to the roof, but backed away when she smelled them.  
  
"Holy shit! You guys smell like.shit and fish!" Bulma and Chichi giggled as 18 tried to free them and hold her nose at the same time. By the time they were free from their bonds, Chichi and Bulma had the hose ready. The warriors stood in complete and furious silence while they were hosed, wrapped in clothes, and then led to the bathroom where they were forced to bathe again. When they were clean, Chichi had cooked them a meal from the replenished kitchen.  
  
"Everything's fixed, and clean, and that means.You killed the children!" Goku concluded, as he looked at Chichi with furry. "I know they were a handful, but they were our children Chichi!" Chichi smiled and pushed him back into his seat.  
  
"The children are cleaned and asleep upstairs. I didn't kill them, but it looks like they almost killed you." She said as she stuffed a thermometer into Goku's mouth. 18 headed to the fridge and pulled out a slab of frozen meat for Krillin's head. Krillin screamed and ran into the corner.  
  
"NO MORE MEAT! For Kami-sake NO MORE MEAT!" 18 arched an eyebrow but got a bag of ice instead. Vegeta on the other hand apparently didn't want any medical attentions, because he growled at Bulma any time she tried to get close enough to bandage his wounds.  
  
"Fine Vegeta. Bleed everywhere. Normally, I'd let you do whatever the hell you pleased, but seeing as you're bleeding on someone else's furniture, will you let me fix you up long enough to get home without loosing a pint of blood?" Vegeta growled, but this time it sounded more like a 'fine do whatever' type of growl. Bulma was very perceptive when it came to the growls of Vegeta, so she proceeded to bandage him.  
  
After the three warriors were bandaged and taken care of, Bulma drove Trunks, Bra, and Vegeta home. Krillin, 18, and Marron left for Kame house, and Chichi was left to nurse the poisoned Goku back to health.  
  
"So, did you learn anything from this Goku? Or, do you want me to just tell you what you should have learned." Goku seemed to ponder for a second before he spoke up.  
  
"I learned that next time I have to choose between saving the world from an alien or staying home with my wife, I'm going to choose to go fight the alien. You're too dangerous for me. Tyrannical aliens that want to kill me are a much safer sort to spend my time with." Chichi rolled her eyes, but went about her usual chores.  
  
~ LA LA LA WE FINISHED! IN TWO DAYS! SO NA NA NA NA BOO BOO! Oh, and here I would like to insert a plug. Cosmo is the best author in the cosmos! (Well, that is if you don't count the other 99.9% of writers on fanfiction) So anyway, I would like to take this time to give a special message for the fish.  
  
Play in harmony, frolic in peace, swim in sanctity, for you never know when a shark will come out of nowhere and rip off your fishy ass. Good Day.  
  
  
  
At this time, we would like to thank the following people:  
  
The monkeys that donated the large pile of monkey dung  
  
The lovely people at the department store we set on fire. (by the way, thanks for your support and we hope the rebuilding process is blessed by the fish in the sky)  
  
The people who use a platinum credit card to buy vaginal jelly  
  
Thank you all, God night, and Fish bless! With Much Love ~ Peewee and Majin Cosmo (a.k.a. the bull-shitting penguins) 


End file.
